For Better or Worse

I read an article yesterday that talked about how, when we come out of lockdown, there will be a surge in divorce cases. I can only imagine how difficult some people have found it being in total lockdown with their spouses. If things were difficult before, the current situation would surely exacerbate problems and perhaps being at home together has highlighted things that weren’t considered to be a problem previously.

I actually thought that it would be more stressful than it has been, being in lockdown with the family. Granted, trying to get a 17 year old to do schoolwork that he isn’t interested in has been a challenge, however that has really been the only source of stress. The Husband and I have been together for 23 years and I truly believe that we have been able to sustain our relationship because, although we actually have very little in common and each have our own interests, we do not expect the other to be responsible for fulfilling all aspects of our life and we give each other the freedom to pursue those interests. For example, The Husband is not very sociable, but he understands that I am and has never complained when I spend a lot of time with friends and I understand that he needs to spend a lot of time playing sport, otherwise he becomes grumpy and sullen.

You would think, then, that being in lockdown together, would highlight our differences however, I feel that there is an extra sense of closeness developing. I have found myself to be a lot calmer than I was pre-lockdown and my hormones do not seem to have affected me in the same way as they had been doing recently. I feel like I have stepped off the world for a little while and it has had a very positive affect on my disposition.

Now don’t get me wrong, The Husband and I have a strong relationship with no major issues, however, I do think the change in my demeanour has contributed to having a positive affect on how The Husband and I have been relating to each other, in terms of less bickering (usually caused by my snappiness) and the amount of quality time we have spent together. We have found ourselves doing things together that we wouldn’t normally do, such as sitting in the garden each evening, doing chores and gardening, finding tv programmes to watch together instead of each watching our own thing in a separate room and even going for walks (though he is still trying to get me to run, to no avail and there has been mention of a bike 😲). A sense of peace and companionship has descended on the household, that in the past we have been too busy doing our own thing, to find and appreciate. Let’s hope that it continues post coronavirus.

There has been so much sadness, anxiety and fear for a lot of people during this pandemic but for some they have realised that life doesn’t have to be lived at 600 miles an hour and they have found little positives that they intend to take away from this experience. I wonder what yours are?

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